It is a poor idea to lie to yourself.

It was mid October 2010 when I was betrayed and bad mouthed by the people whom I called friends. I lie to myself by telling my heart and my brain that everything is fine. I am a person whom I am. I am kind, good hearted and caring person but sometimes people take advantage of who you are. I never confront anyone, I act as if everything was fine to them, I act as if nothing I heard and I even care for them doing their hair whereas they bad mouthed me. I tell myself that everything will be ok.

I visited them as usual, I cook and bake for them as I always do so. But I realize that you must select good friends in life. It was not the first time I’ve been betrayed by people whom I called friends. I remember 2009, a very rainy day where I stayed outside while a have a room because someone who I was staying with went to where it suites her with the key. I did not have airtime to call and send all callbacks that I have but she never reply. She came around 20:30 in the evening, she was angry and acted funny to my neighbors, but I ignore her while she was wrong. I never ask her why she did so. I tell myself that such things like that will not take me anywhere. I started conversation but she never reply. We woke up every day without greet each other but I even tell myself that everything will be alright.

It is poor to lie to yourself because it’s only you who will suffer for the consequences. I myself suffer for the consequences for lying to myself, the ability to always want everything to be right. The ability to want your friend to feel right not to harm but care for her. I tell myself that I do not need a friend ever. But I tell myself no one can leave my life nor take what I have. I tell myself that I won’t stop caring for those who around me because of wicked friends.