It is a poor idea to lie to yourself.

It was mid October 2010 when I was betrayed and bad mouthed by the people whom I called friends. I lie to myself by telling my heart and my brain that everything is fine. I am a person whom I am. I am kind, good hearted and caring person but sometimes people take advantage of who you are. I never confront anyone, I act as if everything was fine to them, I act as if nothing I heard and I even care for them doing their hair whereas they bad mouthed me. I tell myself that everything will be ok.

I visited them as usual, I cook and bake for them as I always do so. But I realize that you must select good friends in life. It was not the first time I’ve been betrayed by people whom I called friends. I remember 2009, a very rainy day where I stayed outside while a have a room because someone who I was staying with went to where it suites her with the key. I did not have airtime to call and send all callbacks that I have but she never reply. She came around 20:30 in the evening, she was angry and acted funny to my neighbors, but I ignore her while she was wrong. I never ask her why she did so. I tell myself that such things like that will not take me anywhere. I started conversation but she never reply. We woke up every day without greet each other but I even tell myself that everything will be alright.

It is poor to lie to yourself because it’s only you who will suffer for the consequences. I myself suffer for the consequences for lying to myself, the ability to always want everything to be right. The ability to want your friend to feel right not to harm but care for her. I tell myself that I do not need a friend ever. But I tell myself no one can leave my life nor take what I have. I tell myself that I won’t stop caring for those who around me because of wicked friends.

The sound of one clapping hand

The lonely days of my life, the hardship of Cape Town life.  The days that I will never forget in my life. It was on mid January 2007, at Cape Peninsula University of Technology. I was looking for residence or accommodation since I was from Eastern Cape. I travel by train everyday from Khayelitsha to Bellville. I was an awkward, I feel so lonely, and they keep on saying come tomorrow till March. I did not know the exact person I should talk to or person who can help me. Even the SRC did not help me those hard and awkward days.

I met a friend who was my class mate, we chat and I end up staying with her family. It was then that I realize that one hand cannot do much thing, you need a second hand to have a balance. One hand cannot a make a sound. Being helped makes me realized that friendship is a best tool in life. By those days I even think that God has forsaken me. I even regret coming to Cape Town but life has obstacles you have to climb in order to succeed. I never heard a sound from a single hand. I only know that single hand can wave not clap, only two hands that can make a sound. I realize that two hands can make different in this world.

I associate the sound of one clapping hand with loneliness, when it’s like the world to out to you. When no one even notice you or your presence. Where your opinion is tasteless to others. The sound of one clapping hand, I don’t know its meaning but it’s tricky because one hand cannot clap nor make a sound.

IT'S HARD TO SAY GOODBYE

DEDICATED TO A FRIEND

Saying goodbye has never been a nice thing, especially when you have to say it to someone close to you. Someone who’s your everything, a parent, spouse, or sibling. In other circumstances you have to console your heart by saying goodbye. It’s hard to say goodbye to someone to someone who leave you for a couple of weeks or months, how much more if you have to say it to someone whom will never see again. It’s hard to say goodbye for good.  When there will be no more chat, sms, and no more calls. We tend to be angry to someone you love if she/ he did not call or sms for a day. How painful is when she or he will never have that opportunity to do so.

Life is unfair sometimes. Life is unpredictable, you may plan but never knowing what future holds for you. Devil harms those who are good hearted and kind people. When I look around, and down the streets of Cape Town there’s a lot of gangsters, serial killers, thugs who rob and kill innocent people but they live long life.

It’s hard to say goodbye for good, if it’s for me how much more to you my beloved friend. Losing a parent especial mom has never been good. May GOD be with you in all dark and light days of your life.

May you have a safe journey to heaven!!!!!

GOODBYE!!!!!!!!

Celebrating Easter

On Easter Sunday Christians celebrate the resurrection of the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is typically the most well-attended Sunday service of the year for Christian churches. Christians believe  according to Scripture, that Jesus came back to life, or was raised from the dead three days after his death on the cross. As part of the Easter season, the death of Jesus Christ by crucifixion is commemorated on Good Friday, always the Friday just before Easter. Through his death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus paid the penalty for our sins, so that for all  those who believe in him can live eternal life in Christ Jesus.

On the other hand those who are not believers tend to celebrate easter by doing parties, drinking alcohol, celebrating easter but not knowing what they actually celebrating. When you ask them, they will tell you that they grew up their elders celebrating easter. We as christian I think is our duty to go out there and teach them about God.

NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST

I find myself wandering about people who stay on leave, sleeping under the bridge eating on dust bins. I wander what happen to them? What makes or push them to leave their home and decide to stay outside. I take some of my time and visit them, asking them one by one, at first I was wandering whether they will welcome or chased me away.
Some of them they from Eastern Cape, they were here to search for work but unfortunately they did not find work. Some of them were chased away by their families since they don’t work, blaming them of food destroying. Homeless people who known as wanders, I wander what they think about their lives and future. Did they ask for their situation. Not all people who wander are lost.

I ask an old woman why she’s staying there, where she from. The granny was from Indwe, she left home in 1982 to search for work here in Cape Town. After she lost her job as a nanny she didn’t have place to stay nor work. She decides to stay under the bridge hoping to find work and have money to go back home, but unfortunately she never find work. She’s now wandering if her family is still alive and she wish to go back home. She’s wandering if her family would welcome her back since she never sends money nor went home all these years.

 

I wander if GOD has failed these people. I wander if GOD has given up to these people. It’s sad when you hear their stories. When they cry on your shoulder because their lives are in danger.Others had been raped by people who promise to bring brighter lives for them. People whom they trust.I wander why their families don’t look out for them. Not all who wanders are lost. I am still wandering but not lost!!!

AWAKEN FROM DEATH!!!

Do dead people awake from death? Let me tell you the story. This may sound weird but it’s true. A seventy five years old man from Noorport awake from death in the past few weeks. He sleeps more than three days without waking up. His wife and children call the ambulance to take him to hospital because they were afraid of his long sleep. They were told by the ambulance driver that he’s dead they must call their policy to take him to the mortuary. They wash him as a tradition. Their policy come and picks him, then the family and neighbors gathered in a prayer.

On the way to mortuary, the man wakes up from sleep. He knocks on the back of driver shouting him to stop. He asks the driver where they were going. The driver said “you are dead, I’m taking you to the mortuary”. He refused to go to the mortuary claiming that he’s not dead he just sleep. The driver took him back to his family. The family was afraid of him because they were about to do claims the next day for burial service. The man explain that he was sleeping not dead, he denied that he sleep more than three days.

The man said maybe God do not want me to die young. He still don’t believe that he awake from death.

Trusting you was my failure!!!!!!!

 I grew up trusting everything taught by elders, especially my parents because I believed in them. I put all my trust to them and that they won’t let me down. The scenario which says “love them all and trust no one” did not work to me those days. As I grew up I realize that my parents were sometimes not fulfill they promises but at that time I was easy forget.  When you are young you don’t get hurt easily.  When you cry for something your mother will promise to buy it tomorrow, but bear in mind that by tomorrow you will forgot that especially when they bring nice children stuff.

I trust a lot of people, but they disappoint me. I trust my friend whom I thought was my soul sisters, but they all let me down. I even trust and help those crying for help, but they bad mouth me. Then I realize that the scenario “love them all but trust no one” is true. But by trusting someone you can make a good friendship. By trusting someone you can share your secrets, a shoulder to cry on. By trusting someone you can work together to achieve your goals.

Trusting you as my best friend, my soul sister and my everything was my failure. I never knew that by this time you will let me down. I realize that trusting people by all your heart you are hurting yourself. But trusting in GOD you will have everything no harm,   only leave in peace and have long life.